


Alphys, Mettaton, and the Zodiac Killer

by smwhrinwndrlnd97



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: I'm so sorry, but also kinda not you know, but like i said crack, craaack, don't judge my writing skills through this pls, oh god this is pure crack, written when i'd had four hours of sleep and rehearsal and a performance in one day, you probably shouldn't read this if you like ted cruz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 15:26:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6289870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smwhrinwndrlnd97/pseuds/smwhrinwndrlnd97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Alphys decides that Mettaton needs a friend, she decides to build him a soft, cuddly one. What happens when it escapes above ground? **Warning: Pure Crack**</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alphys, Mettaton, and the Zodiac Killer

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god I don't even know what to say. Don't judge my writing abilities by this. It is completely unedited. If you want decent work, go read my Doctor Who oneshot. If you want sleep-deprived, weird-ass, maybe-kinda-sorta-funny-in-the-right-light, then this is for you. I don't recommend reading if you like Ted Cruz. Seriously. I don't want to be bitched at about it. Other than that, thanks for reading!

It wasn't long after Frisk left and after fixing Mettaton that Alphys decide something; Mettaton needed a friend. But not just any friend, no- he needed a soft, cuddle buddy friend. Someone to make him feel happy and safe. Someone with a warm, fleshier texture than another robot was likely to have. However, a robot it would have to be. Alphys would make a new kind of robot, a robot that included organic components. This is the story of how the first full-working cyborg was created in the Underground.  
Alphys worked tirelessly day and night for days, weeks, months on end before coming up with the initial creation. It had a tall, squishy body and real hair on its head. The only problem was the grease the hair attracted and the fact that the synthetic skin on face always appeared to be on the verge of melting off. It also had a bad habit of spewing out garbage from its vocal piece, and an odd glitch in its facial structure around the mouth upon hearing applause. Poor Alphys was frustrated. She didn't know how to fix this mess of a creation.  
One day, Mettaton entered the lab and, to Alphys's horror, saw the still undone creation. He inspected it. Alphys couldn't look. When he finished and turned to her, his face held vague unease.  
“Alphys, darling. . . what is this?”  
She stuttered out an explanation and he frowned. Though it was a very sweet gesture on her part, they both decided the thing had to go. They planned to disassemble it the next day. However, when they woke up and trooped off to the lab, they discovered it had vanished. They searched high and low for it all day, but to no avail. Figuring the creepy contraption couldn't get far without falling apart (or, let's face it, one of the skeleton brothers getting a hold of it and breaking it), they decided to forget about it.  
Unbeknownst to them, the cyborg had made it above ground and was now wreaking havoc on the human world. Under the name Ted Cruz, it assumed the position of presidential candidate and the Zodiac Killer. Unfortunately, there were many humans stupid enough to fall for its simple-minded, bigoted tricks and votes came flooding in. And that's how this melting glob of a messy experiment is now a possible future leader of America. 

The end?


End file.
